On and on and on…

Its 5am. Shhh. Not a sound can be heard, except the quite ticking of a clock. The sun has not yet risen. The birds have not yet broke into tune. The darkness thick and the world sleeps…

Its 5am. Its noisy, its dashing and rushing. Not a moments peace. Shouting, screaming. The pace is fast, its furious. The wheels turning, round and round, faster and faster. Is it, will it ever stop. Sleep, oh yes sleep, but the mind does not stop. On and on and on it goes. Do I ever rest, do I ever really sleep? The pace is hard, its all up hill, steeper and steeper it goes. The cogs keep turning, my mind just will not stop.

The pain you can’t imagine. A spear stuck in my heart, from head to toe it hurts. Yes, its hard to believe, to the average human, you just can not explain. They sleep at 5am, while I feel isolated, alone and afraid.

Life has happened, life has hurt. I cannot remember when life really didn’t hurt. Its cut, its stabbed, its kicked and pulled. I fell and fell and fell again. People have come, mainly for a season, taken, taken and taken again. Used the kindness from my heart then left when used my life for free. Friends who I thought were forever, lead me to places I really didn’t want to be. I was useful, for that I’m glad. Glad I gave the best of me.

Disregarded, I don’t know. It was all so long ago. Why can’t I just let it go!! The list you see is endless. Social media doesn’t help, its a tool that can be useful or a tool that can destroy!! With a mind so full of resentment and heart bleeding hurt, the control can be unconsciously blinded and then you’ve done it looked again, at the past in the present and bang the mind has gone.

So, on and on and on, no rest at all in sight. Given my life, my heart to others are they really worth this constant fight.

On and on and on, the mind like time will not end…

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