Desperation

Mmm, pause and ponder…

The English dictionary tells us “A state of despair, typically one which results in rash or extreme behaviour.” This sums up the strong, vibrant word well in a few words. There have been many a poem, song and even books written about this singular word. All describing it in many forms and metaphors. My question is how can any one person illustrate another person’s feelings, insights or points of view?

We can all sympathise if we are made that way, empathise too, again, if we are deeply emotional and deep enough in our own souls to do so. However, feelings are so personal and embedded that not anyone person can truly feel another’s inner being. It takes, I’m afraid to say, very few people nowadays to understand another. It’s a very selfish world out there. Who today sees another’s desperation?

Desperation can be described as a gift. It’s certainly not wrapped up in bows and shiny paper. It’s so raw it cuts sharply into emotions that run as deep as the ocean. The ocean in a force nine gale. Rough, fast, up, down, blowing and moving any which way it can through. Through every crack, into every vein and artery it pumps and pumps. So why is it called a gift?

A gift because when a person is at desperation point the “Fight or Flight,” engulfs the human.

” The flight or fight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived stressful and frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee .” ( Psychology Tools, no date)

Effectively this response is totally out of any humans control. The brain and the heart in battle on what to do for the best, thus, resulting into catastrophic behaviour. Unmanageable for the being to cope with. The gift is then given, fight for ourselves, our own emotions or flight, remove ourselves completely with actions that could mean destroying our own values and lives.

Choosing to fight can take alot of energy physically and intelltually as well as the volcanic emotions pent up inside us. The fight response can take years of healing and patching up. You can only patch up a certain extent before the seams fall apart. Choosing to fly can be an instant relief but the consequences of what you leave behind are traumatic for those we love.

Recently my “flight and fight” took over. Its been many years since that desperation took place in my body as a whole. I chose to fly, I had no fight left. Drained of all sanity, I flew. The results were not favourable. However, this gift is. For as low as I got, my inner strength pulled through as it has done so many times in the past and flew me back home. Home where its safe, home which is deep, deep love, home to me to where I belong.

Desperation is a gift. A gift that gives us a light to guide our paths on this journey of life. If we are never desperate we would never cherish our sanity, our own world and the love and friendship in our lives that are given so freely to us.

I see desperation as a gift that has saved and restored me so many times. For that I am truly, madly, deeply grateful.