It’s been a long and perhaps at times a hard couple of months. My first vaccination against the virus that has brought the world to its knees, was I thought a painless experience. Until seven days later I was admitted to hospital with the disease itself. A very rare experience I am told. Rare I could cope with, life after that was hard, very hard. However that first vaccination I am sure saved my life and for that I am truly grateful.
The last few days prior to my appointment this morning for the second shot I can honestly say I have lived in a daze. A daze of fear. Having traced my steps after the first vaccination I can only think I picked up the virus going for my first shot. No proof here just a process of elimination
Fear is a four letter word that carries so much meaning. I have had all the physical symptoms, shaking, sweating, hot and cold flushes, short temper. Alongside that the emotional state of panic, dread and worry. All in all not feeling my best. Where did this state come from? I was going to be vaccinated to protect me. Alas I know it will.
Human nature is a funny thing. Your brain and heart find it so hard to let go to what has been. Without knowing it you store things up and when life takes you to a place where you have been before a switch is turned on and the feelings reappear as if it were yesterday. However what we do with this fear is important. F.E.A.R. (Face, Everything, And, Recover.) That’s all I could do. So as two millilitres of fluid was injected into my arm all I could was was smile and thank the nurse with a grateful heart for freely giving me five minutes of her time for potentially saving my life as the first one did.
The question is “Why do we fear the past?” It’s gone.
My heart never misses a day that it’s not grateful for “Astra Zeneka”